[IR] Props to the Toothless Canadians

When I think of Korean sports, I think of the big three: archery, taekwondo, and baseball.  Recently, another word has burrowed into my mind when I associate sports with Korea: the Olympics. Not only is one of the most promising figure skaters in the 2014  winter Olympics a young Korean woman (my queen, Kim Yuna), but it was also just revealed that the next winter Olympics will be held in Pyongchang, South Korea.  Ohhhh yeah, baby, I will definitely be watching that.  In preparation for the next winter Olympics, South Korea will not only be prepping for a flood of international visitors, but also prepping their sports teams for world domination in the form of high-stress physical competitions.  Now, Koreans are definitely good at working under stress to live up to high expectations (have you seen their intense schooling standards?), but it looks like some sports teams may be turning to international assistance to up their game.  
My favorite Korean newspaper, 한겨레 (The Hankyoreh), just wrote an article on two Canadian men, Michael Swift and Brian Young, who have applied for (and received) Naturalization from the Ministry of Justice.  In other words, they now have dual citizenship in Canada and South Korea.  The reason these well-recognized NHL players have revoked their complete Canadianism is so that they can play for South Korea's Olympic men's hockey team.  When I heard this, part of me thought "why the heck would you leave Canada to play hockey in Korea?"  I mean, Korea is by no means recognized for its hockey-playing abilities. I also thought, "what right do these guys have to saunter into Korea with their pucks and heavy-duty padding and join a team of Korean guys who are probably half their size?"  After reading the article on these men, I softened up to the idea as I saw how genuinely engaged in Korean culture and language these men are. They really admire the way Koreans have a genuine concern for each other's well being. They might look like hillbillies with their toothless grins, but they study Korean with a tutor twice a week and even know who is on the 10,000 won bill (which I must admit I would not be able to tell you off the top of my head, even though it's the most famous Korean man to ever live).  Swift and Young even own traditional hanboks, which are the Korean version of kimonos.  I'm impressed with them and I think they will add the aggressive touch to the Korean national hockey team, which is apparently known for its insane speed and epic scoring abilities.  Needless to say, I am so pumped for the 2018 Olympics in Pyongchang.  I hope to see these guys in the rink!

Original article (in English): http://english.hani.co.kr/arti/english_edition/e_entertainment/620886.html

[CM] 5 Reasons Why Bo Burnham is the Best Human Under the Age of 25

If you have never heard of Bo Burnham before, I'm so sorry.  If you have heard of Bo Burnham but have not looked into his works of genius, shame on you and all of your descendants.  In case this is your first time hearing this man's name, it is important that you know a little bit about him before I dive right into my explanation of why I dedicate so much of my free time to worshiping him.  
Robert Pickering "Bo" Burnham is a 23 year old comedian, singer-songwriter, musician, actor and internet celebrity from Massachusetts.  In case you were wondering, yes, I did pull that almost directly from Wikipedia because the only description that comes to mind when I think of Bo Burnham is "demigod," but I'm pretty sure that term is neither politically nor historically correct.  Anyway, Bo has racked up nearly 127 MILLION views on his YouTube channel where he posts incredibly wonderful poems and songs that he wrote.  It sounds fruity and it KIND of is.... But nevertheless, here are five whopping reasons that I will try to use to put my love and appreciation for Bo Burnham into mere human words.

#1: His use of humor
In a battle between Bo and Goliath, Bo would undoubtedly beat the giant by crippling him with his wicked sense of humor.  If anyone could tell a joke that made a royal guard crack a smile, it would be Bo.  Heck, he could make the Mona Lisa grin in less than 20 seconds if you gave him the chance to get up next to that bulletproof glass.  Bo's use of humor allows him to establish ethos, logos and pathos simultaneously in his songs and poems.  The jokes he tells often reference common themes, people or ideas that almost feel like an inside joke between the audience and Bo, establishing ethos.  His humorous analogies somehow make more sense than any professor could bother to explain, instilling a sense of reason in his seemingly far-out thoughts.  And of course, his pathos is formed through the fact that he never fails to make people laugh.  I always said that the day I find someone who can make me laugh more than I make myself laugh is the day my unicorn pinata, Laquisha, starts making her own candy.  Well, Laquisha, start pumping out those Smarties because I think I've found the one. 

#2: He has no boundaries
Bo is very open about the fact that he doesn't understand offensiveness.  This reminded me of a British politician who explained his thoughts on the concept of humor versus seriousness and how solemnity is a waste of time.  I think it's very true that problems could be solved in a more efficient and less tense fashion is a sense of humor was had by all in the room.  Bo is not too afraid to throw around references to the Nazi regime and even 9/11 in his songs, and he is most definitely not afraid of referencing sex, drugs, alcohol, murder and swear words (gasp) in a humorous manner.  On this surface, this sounds a lot like most music on the radio these days, but Bo (being the genius he is) uses these ideas as tools to touch on bigger social issues, such as religious wars, abortion rights, and the immorality of the entertainment industry.

#3: He is raw
One huge thing that I admire about Bo is that he is all about using himself as his own artistic victim.  He ridicules his own sex life, love life, high school career, body image, voice, and popularity to further his ability to influence his audience.  He makes himself completely vulnerable to judgement and uses that vulnerability to create art that helps himself and the audience understand him better.  After getting to know Bo through his songs and pure comedy, the only thing his audience is unable to understand is his pure, unaltered genius.  I aspire to be as self-accepting someday, in a way that I can use my own "imperfections" to fuel my own success.

#4: He is a musical genius
The most appealing part of Bo's creations, right off the bat, is probably the amount of catchy tunes he manages to add to his incredible understanding of the English language.  He plays the piano and guitar with almost every diddly he comes up with.  While I love his ability to play these instruments in such a casual fashion, I have to admit that the music I was most impressed with was the instrumental he created on Garage Band for one of his finale's, a song called "We Think We Know You." Wow.  Just wow.  I had to smack myself as I watched him somehow pull together his endless source of funny, an extremely catchy tune and a powerful message all into one small and very enjoyable performance.  It's the work of a pure genius, I tell you. 

#5: He is hot
I don't know if it's the white t-shirts, the cool shoes, the tousled hair or the fact that he's 6'6'', but I find Bo Burnham to be very physically attractive.  There's not much else to say about that, other than that I would marry Bo Burnham in a hummingbird's heartbeat.

Now watch the genius at work and tell me he's not a demigod.

[RD] A Rhetorical Device that Justifies my Blathering

Polysyndeton is such a cool rhetorical device because it looks like my text messages.  Really, when I have an important story to tell my friends I write the whole thing out really quickly, and then I realize that I didn't use a single comma or period.  As it turns out, this can be described as a use of polysyndeton, which is the use of repeated conjunctions in a string of words or clauses.  Even though sentences employing polysyndeton look like a slew of words that need some desperate editing, many famous authors like Ernest Hemingway and William Faulkner famously wrote in this sloppy fashion.  Of course, Hemingway's messy sentences look a heck of a lot better than my text messages, but it's the same concept of connecting many ideas that would typically be split into individual sentences or clauses divided by a comma or period.  

I was surprised to learn that many religious texts are breeding grounds for polysyndeton.  I found a few examples, but they were all in Latin, so I can't relate to those a whole lot.  Polysyndeton is used to achieve an artistic effect and is often found in poems, which makes the choppy format a lot more comprehensible.  In a sense, poetry splits these runny sentences up with line breaks and a shift in ideas.  

Sentences that use polysyndeton are often irritating and difficult to comprehend and practically beg for a sprinkling of commas and seem to never end.  See? They are slightly awful, but it's easy to see how it could come in handy and almost feel natural in a poetic setting.  I mean, I even made it rhyme! (I'm high-fiving myself)

Here's an example of Ernest Hemingway's use of polysyndeton: 

“I said, ‘Who killed him?’ and he said ‘I don’t know who killed him, but he’s dead all right,’ and it was dark and there was water standing in the street and no lights or windows broke and boats all up in the town and trees blown down and everything all blown and I got a skiff and went out and found my boat where I had her inside Mango Key and she was right only she was full of water.” (Ernest Hemingway, After the Storm)

Also, a shoutout to the most legendary use of polysyndeton of all time: Molly Bloom's soliloquy in James Joyce's Ulysses, which used two periods in 4,391 words.  This was the book containing the longest published sentence in the English language until 2001.