[TA] I Am No Longer The Young Grasshopper

Dear future AP Language students,

You are about to embark on an entirely new experience.  It's no trip to Europe or skydiving adventure, but you are about to learn more than you ever thought you could without even really realizing it.  Here are a few compacted pieces of advice that I give you as an experienced AP Lang student.  Hopefully, these tips will be an aid in helping you learn as much as I did this year, if not more.

1. Read the books.  They're all really good (maybe not so much The Awakening, but it has some merit to it), so just take some time to read them carefully and make connections to them.  I never enjoyed nonfiction books before this year, but the memoirs and stories we read showed me a new kind of reading experience that I am so glad I have opened up to.  Also, surprise reading quizzes seem to happen at the least convenient of times, so always be prepared.  
2. Do research.  So many class discussions are improved by those who can bring in outside information on a topic that they've taken the time to look into.  The gender studies unit was made thrice as profound as it was probably intended to be, just because I spent a half hour or so every night exposing myself to opinions and media related to the topic at hand.  Even if you don't have the time or materials to research the themes you discuss in class, never be afraid to bring up a connection you might have on a personal level; these points are always unique and often better than anything you can find on Google.
3. Let the class change you.  AP Lang, more than any class I've ever taken (maybe besides 7th grade history), has changed me in incredibly profound ways.  You'd think that an English class would only change your understanding of grammar and essay writing, but AP Lang changed my understanding of the world.  Looking back on a year ago, there were so many topics that I was so impartial towards, not willing to take a firm stance one way or another.  Now, I am firm in so many of my beliefs, just due to AP Lang's way of getting me to consider all perspectives, causes and effects of so many social issues, then giving me the tools to funnel everything down into one steadfast opinion.  Topics such as torture, the death penalty, affirmative action, race colorblindness, feminism, welfare, and the deserving of pity are ones that I was rather lukewarm towards before.  I now know how to think about these concepts, address all counterarguments, and fight to the death in debates.  I've grown as a person, I'm absolutely sure of it.  I can only hope I have classes like this in the future that will enlighten me beyond the classroom and allow me to discover the values that make me who I am.
4. Lower your expectations.  The best way to enjoy ANYTHING, really, is to assume the worst while throwing yourself into.  Once you've narrowed your hopes and dreams for the class to a small sliver of excitement, sit back and let it all blow your mind.
5. Ms. Pyle rocks, so treat her with respect and no spitballs.  Don't even bother trying to make up an excuse for not doing your work.  Either it's done or it's not.  You're a big kid; you're your own boss now.  Ms. Pyle just points you in the right direction and lets you mess yourself up as much as you want from that point.

There you have it-- five very important words of advice for those of you who are taking AP Language next year.  I hope you learn as much as I did! Best of luck!

[TA] Currently Have "Eye of the Tiger" on Repeat

Thanks to my impeccable taste in Korean music and Apple's genius iPhone function that lets me use my music as my alarm clock, I practically boogie out of bed every morning.  I do-wop past the full length mirror in my bedroom, pausing briefly to point saucily at my reflection, greeting the magnificent beast in front of me with a slightly groggy "how you doiiiiiiiin'?"
I swat the shower handle so it lands on the coldest setting and proceed to tempt my eyes open, reminding my pupils that they get to witness the world from the perspective of the radical teen that is me, Hannah Reynolds.  I ditch my Egyptian cotton pajamas and step into the icy shower, dunking my head under the stream of devil's tears that causes my scalp to throb in pain.  If you think this sounds bad, you clearly have no idea how much I put myself through to keep this hair as pink as my aura.  When my locks are thoroughly shampooed and conditioned and the shower floor looks like the site of a murder scene due to the pink dye, I pop on a shower cap and switch the water to the hot setting.  A hot shower loosens my muscles in preparation for the high-stress day ahead.  

I dress myself in H&M sweats and tie my hair back into the perkiest of pony tails.  I neglect to put on shoes.  Footwear is for the weak.  

I set out on my three-mile jog, drudging through a foot of snow.  It was painful at first, but I'm used to the snow since I jog in it all year round.  I run to City Hall, which has a grand total of 647 stairs from the ground level to the first floor entrance.  I hop up the first 200 stairs with ease.  The next 200 stairs have me reciting workout tips from my personal trainer, Hercules, as inspiration.  The next 200 really start to hit me.  I remind myself that a well-trained body makes a well-trained brain, and a well-trained brain means a 5 on EVERY AP EXAM.  This mentality causes my heels to grow mini rockets, propelling me toward the top of the stairs with ungodly speed.  As I reach the top, I take a quick moment to thank based god Rocky Balboa for letting me copy his famous movie scene in my blog post, then proceed to write a practice synthesis essay.  Once I'm sure it's worthy of an 8 (if not a 9), I glance at the clock on City Hall to see that I have 5 minutes to spare, which I fill by doing squat thrusts.  

I then jog home, uphill, and recite every rhetorical device and three examples for each.  After doing this everyday from November to May 12, I will consider myself "pumped up" for the AP Lang exam.

In reality, I'm making flashcards for all of the rhetorical devices and telling myself that I'm a decent enough writer to do fine on the essays.  My results on practice tests tend to be pretty encouraging.  If I can be awake enough on the morning of the AP Lang exam, I'm sure I'll live to see my birthday (the next day).